Lindsey and Nick offered marriage advice in honor of their first anniversary. It turns out this couple enjoys giving advice. “I think we’re good at it,” Lindsey said. Nick stood by her side, nodding yes. So they’ve agreed to offer words of wisdom from time to time.
Dear Lindsey and Nick:
I have a daughter with special needs. She is twenty-nine. She recently became engaged to a thirty-six year old man with special needs too. Overall, they have a good relationship; they enjoy watching movies, going to dinner, and hanging out with family. They are both considered high-functioning. However, my daughter gets super frustrated and angry with her fiancé at times. They have difficulty communicating because when one tries to make a point, the other one takes it wrong. How can I help them with their issues? ~Just one Mom who wants the best for her daughter
Lindsey: Don’t twist each others words. Talk it out. Nicely.
Nick: I used to be a fighter, not a lover. But now I’m a lover not a fighter. Maybe you could tell them that. It’s better to be lovers than fighters.
Lindsey: Go in separate rooms and give each other space when you are fighting.
Nick: Ask, “What did I do wrong?” I want to know that after a fight so I don’t repeat the same mistakes and keep making my wife mad.
Lindsey: Apologize.
Nick: Maybe they need a little tenderness. If you give each other more tenderness, maybe they won’t get mad.
Lindsey: And don’t get married unless you can handle it or you might have to get marriage counseling.
Nick: Don’t start explaining yourself unless you first ask, “Do you want me to explain?” That makes my wife really mad–when I explain and she’s not ready to hear me.
Lindsey: Naps are good. When I get mad, sometimes, I take a nap and after, I feel much better because I forget why I’m mad.
Nick: Yeah, naps are real good.
Lindsey: I need Nick to tell me when I hurt his feelings so I know not to hurt them in the future.
Nick: Let out your emotions in a good way–don’t hold them in. It’s okay to cry if your feelings get hurt.
Lindsey: But it’s never okay to yell or scream or call each other names. (We are working on this.)
My first book will be coming out September 26, 2017. If you are interested in learning more about Loving Lindsey: Raising a Daughter with Special Needs, please click here.
