Today I am thankful for:
1) Alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. I rarely drink, but some days, after dealing with a blown-out-of-proportion, makes-no-sense “Lindsey” issue, I need to be medicated. And Thursday was one of those days.
You’d think I’d choose some hard liquor drink like whiskey so the anger and pain would be numbed quickly. But if it tastes like hard liquor, I won’t like the beverage. Instead, I chose frothy and frozen, as in mango daiquiris and frozen Cadillac margaritas. Then I ended the evening with two nightcaps: Baileys on the rocks. Today I’m grateful we didn’t run out of booze on Thursday.
2) No hangover. When I drink, I don’t mix my alcoholic beverages. Some higher power must have taken pity on me Friday morning because I felt no ill aftereffects of the previous night’s mixed drinking festivities. I felt tired, but John and I were able to complete our three-mile walk in record time. (I think anger must have still agitated my legs.)
3) Swear words. I’m not a virgin cusser. In my lifetime, I’ve sprinkled a few four-letter words here and there, but my vocabulary is generally not littered with a lot of foul language. Yet some days, days like last THURSDAY after Lindsey went home with her husband, Nick, swear words ripped from my mouth. And I enjoyed using them. Every. Single. One. Over and over and over again.
4) Holding hands. My husband has been a gem in the holding hands department during the last seventy-nine hours. He has strong hands. Bruised from fingertip imprint pressure. But strong.
5) Time. Every moment since Thursday evening has been a little bit better. Things are not yet great (and rest assured, I will write about this incident later) but right now, my mind feels like a rabid pinball machine as I try to come to terms with certain unpleasant facts. Like I may no longer have the ability to control certain aspects of my daughter’s life. Time tends to heal everything. I’m thankful time is on my side.
6) Whiskey. No, not whiskey as in #1 above. Whiskey as in our friend’s six- month old Shih Tzu. This morning, while John and I were walking around our neighborhood, seven-pound Whiskey ran up the sidewalk and jumped into my arms, licking and licking and licking my neck. It’s amazing how a sweet little puppy, with funky puppy breath, immediately healed some of my hurting heart.
7) My husband. He has fielded seventeen “Lindsey” phone calls since she left our house Thursday afternoon. John has listened to her unfocused rants and the-never-make-any-sense-excuses she’s offered for her inappropriate behavior. I’m very, very grateful for this. I love my man.
8) Marriage. And even though I’m thankful for own my marriage, right this minute I’m thankful for Lindsey’s relationship with Nick. After her verbal fireworks, Lindsey left with her husband to go to their own home; I no longer had to hear her vent. Like I used to. I’m so grateful for that.
9) Friends. More specifically, girlfriends who listen and laugh and make me feel better because they are further distanced from the situation and can see the hilarious side of my daughter’s reasoning skills (or lack of reasoning skills would be more accurate). Admittedly, these gals don’t live through it–and a couple say they could never raise this special daughter of mine–but when my gal pals chuckle, I begin to find a smidgeon of humor from my daughter’s antics, too.
10) Travel. When the going gets tough, every mother who parents a thirty-three year old child with
special needs should have some way to replenish her soul. Another mother might go shopping, enjoy a day at the spa, or take a long drive alone. My soul gets replenished when I travel. For the past several days, I’ve mentally planned numerous exotic trips. I wonder where I will end up? I’m so thankful for travel.
My first book, Loving Lindsey: Raising a Daughter with Special Needs will be out September 26, 2017. If you would like to learn more, click here.
This is a Thankful Blog Hop. I’m also thankful for our blogging hosts: A Fly on our (Chicken Coop) Wall, Bringing the Sunshine, Considerings, Finding Ninee, I can say mama, Steps into Parenthood, Thankful Me, The Wakefield Doctrine.
