It’s been awhile since I’ve participated in Ten Things of Thankful. And I’ve missed you all. Every week I think: I’ll do a list this week, then life happens. Lately life has been hellish for Lindsey and Nick. My son-in-law has (barely) survived several horrific health issues that included two major surgeries in the last three months. Nick faces at least one more surgery, possibly in September. At times he’s felt like Humpty-Dumpty and says, “I just want to be put back together again.”
Lindsey has been suffering too. It’s hard on her because she struggles with comprehension issues. She doesn’t fully understand the gravity of Nick’s situation. She constantly worries and frets which is understandable. Any wife would. But besides the health issues, Nick has been getting far more attention (and rightfully so) than Lindsey. So unbeknownst to us, my daughter bought two weeks of groceries and ate everything in a few days. She had no food until her next payday–five days away. So we gave her more food and she ate five days of groceries in two days.) “Mom,” Lindsey said. “Food is my comfort.”
Then we learned she’d accepted rides from strangers, although we’ve talked and talked and talked about the dangers of this practice. Lindsey has promised not to do that anymore. She knows better than to accept rides. But now I worry, can I trust her?
Her doctor suggested that Lindsey should lose weight. Lindsey says she wants to try, but in the next breath says, “If I lose weight, I might become anorexic.” We assure her she is nowhere near anorexic. And instead of eating three regular, healthy meals a day, her dieting strategy is refusing to eat anything until dinner, then she eats with gusto (translation: gorges), gets a stomachache, and throws up. After years of positive strides, my girl has not been making wise choices. We’ve explained, charted goals, offered lists, asked her to speak to a counselor (and she has). For the past two months, we’ve seen (what seems to be) mental losses, instead of gains. So I’ve been discouraged. But we’re starting to see a few slender rays of hope.
So today I’m thankful for:
1) a recent dinner with Nick and Lindsey. Nick has been feeling better and up to socializing some. YAY! And he has moved from his parent’s house back into the home he and Lindsey share. That is a great reason to shout out loud, Whoop! Whoop!
2) Nick’s sense of humor. It is coming back. He made us laugh over and over. Then the couple spent moments looking into each other’s eyes and whispering. Sweet.
3) Lindsey’s restraint. She requested reasonable portions of fresh green beans, salad, and hearty dinner casserole. She stopped eating before her stomach hurt. We all gave her a thumbs up!
4) food in their fridge and pantry. When I dropped her off, I checked out the fridge, freezer, and pantry. There was food in all three. Another Whoop! Whoop!
5) food money on her Oregon Trail Card and in her grocery envelope. She has budgeted better this month–she has enough to last her until her next payday. Maybe things truly are turning around in our world. Crossing fingers. (We (and her caseworker) will continue to work with Lindsey on these issues (when she will let us) until we are certain she is back on track and can handle the various responsibilities of adult life.)
6) Nick cut his hair! Short. Although he didn’t want me to take a picture at this time, I assure you–he is one handsome dude! I can see why Lindsey is crazy about him.
Now onto other things I’m thankful for:
7) a recent trip to Whistler, Canada. The scenery is magnificent and every time we go (which isn’t often) we vow to come back sooner, rather than later. These mountains provide me a sense of serenity–a place to mentally heal. I can think about things (and appreciate them) that are going right in my life when sometimes it feels like more things are going wrong. I love Whistler.
8) The Whistler bears. I took a three-hour bear tour with Michael Allen and saw eight bears close up and three from a far. A total of eleven bears on this trip.
9) the two mama bears–one with a single cub, and one with two cubs. Neither seemed afraid of us or demonstrated any aggression either. Everyone in the tour was able to get out of Michael Allen’s truck and snap some cool photos. In one case, we were within twenty feet of these bears.
10) and besides the photos, I captured a thirty-seven second video of one of the cubs (below). He wasn’t paying any attention to his mama or sibling. Instead, he continued to munch on alpine clover long after his mama and sibling crossed the road. Suddenly he realized he was alone and ran to catch up. I don’t profess to be the best videographer, but I was tickled to capture this on film. I’m sure you can tell by now, I am also head-over-heals in love with the Whistler bears.
So thanks everyone, for not giving up on me and allowing me to pop in and out of Ten Things of Thankful when I can. I’m trying to respect the things that Nick and Lindsey want kept private.
My first book will be coming out September 26, 2017. If you are interested in learning more about Loving Lindsey: Raising a Daughter with Special Needs, please click here.
